I am still here.

A few things have happened since I last poured my heart out on here.

I went to treatment. Technically, twice.

I relapsed, more than once.

I lost the most important person in my life.

Some relationships ended, and others began.

I dyed my hair bleach blonde, and pink, and green, and purple, and blue.

My dreams and goals and aspirations changed.

Probably most importantly, I have learned that I will be okay.

And I am okay, most days, at least.

The days that I am not okay I remind myself what the okay days are like, and I fight to see them.

I have other places where I pour my heart out now, because this place was home to my darkest thoughts and I don’t know that I can bear to keep coming back to a place that houses some of the worst things that have happened to me and crossed my mind. I’ve deleted most of them, because I don’t want them out there in the world anymore, but coming back here is harder than i thought it would be.

But I promise I am still here.

And I promise I am okay.